Learn How to Deal With an Angry Person

Trying to be with an angry person in any relationship can be one of the most challenging things. Whether anger over small trifles or something more severe, these situations must be handled delicately for proper relationship health. Anger, if not appropriately managed, can lead to emotional disconnection, frustration, and long-term damage. Understanding why your partner gets angry, how to communicate effectively, and how to address anger without escalation can help resolve conflict and improve your bond. In this blog, we’ll explore key strategies to help you navigate anger in your relationship and build a healthier, more harmonious connection.
Casualty Identity Breeds Entitlement
In the wake of perceived injustice comes anger; this might be a power that someone exercises wherein they see him/her as the victim of an act of injustice committed by another. If the aggrieved party feels truly wronged, technically, he or she feels justified in responding to the other with anger. Entitlement to this anger can come from an unfinished past, so they justify their anger and frustration. The “victim” mindset warps reality, and the angry individual believes they are always correct or their feelings must always take precedence. This thinking pattern will result in blowups and fights, as they may assume their partner will “get” their anger without necessarily communicating their needs. Consciousness of this sense of entitlement can make partners aware of the root of their anger and build understanding.
Adapted to Blame
For some, anger becomes a way of coping with deeper emotions. They might quickly blame others to avoid dealing with their feelings. This constant blame-shifting prevents the person from facing their problems directly, making it harder for the couple to understand the real problem. When one is always blaming their partner for everything, it can break trust and create emotional distance. To solve this issue, attention must shift from blame to open communication. Getting the angry partner to reflect on their feelings, rather than blaming others, can assist in breaking the blame cycle and healing.
Impermanent Narcissism
Another reason for anger in relationships is what has been referred to as “impermanent narcissism.” When emotional needs are unmet, an angry husband might prioritize his needs, leading to overreactions to minor issues. This narcissism will cause them to overreact to minor problems. Sometimes, an overreaction to minor frustrations by a partner may be the emotional reaction of insecurity rather than that of the situation. They may feel they are not being acknowledged in their needs or desires. Under these conditions, anger resolves to view the unmet emotional needs behind the anger, and to provide a space in which both of them can ventilate and meet each other’s emotional needs.
Negative Attributions
Negative attributions happen when one partner assumes harmful intentions or behaviors from their partner without evidence. For example, if your boyfriend often has trouble managing his frustration, it’s essential to focus on the underlying causes and avoid making assumptions about his intentions. This kind of negative attribution can fuel anger, resentment, and frustration. These assumptions can become habitual over time, and frequent fighting may result. To break this cycle, it’s essential to focus on listening to the other person’s perspective and talking without assumptions. Couples can create a more favorable environment for conflict resolution by challenging negative assumptions and communicating honestly.
The Healing Emotion
Anger, however powerful a feeling, is usually a defense for more profound feelings of hurt, fear, or frustration. Understanding this truth is most important in dissolving disputes with an angry mate. Instead of responding to anger with frustration or defensiveness, approach the situation with empathy and compassion. In embracing your mate’s more profound emotions, you can begin healing the gap that has developed. In this case, the healing feeling is compassion for your hurt and your partner’s. Being supportive, not reacting defensively, allows space for the relationship to heal and move forward.
How to Deal with Angry People: Key Strategies for Managing Anger in Relationships

Anger in relationships can be quite challenging to cope with, and the strategies for working through it are very effective. If your angry husband tends to overreact to small things, it’s essential to understand the root cause of his frustration. Here are some ways to manage anger in relationships:
Stay Calm and Listen:
The first step when dealing with an angry person is to remain calm. Do not react defensively to anything that might aggravate the situation. Instead, listen actively to what they say and acknowledge their feelings. This will let them feel heard and understood, thus tempering the argument a little.
Untangle the Real Causes:
Sometimes, it’s not about the present situation. There might be deeper causes, like stress or unfulfilled needs. If ever a thought crosses your mind, “Why am I angry at my partner for no reason?” It should be a sign that there are unresolved feelings or pressures outside the relationship that are spilling inside.
Know the Signs of Anger:
If you are wondering whether your partner is prone to anger, note whether he gets angry and volatile for trivial reasons, or tries very hard not to lose control of his temper. Knowing how to determine if a person has anger issues helps you figure out when help or extra counseling should be sought.
Be Clear and Compassionate in Communication:
You need to communicate to your partner how the angry behavior makes you feel when there is frequent anger. Saying something like, “I feel hurt when you yell,” might start your partner reflecting on their behavior.
The Role of Empathy in Managing Anger
Empathy Creates Bonding:
Empathy allows partners to sense each other’s feelings, which makes it easier for them to resolve disputes.
Validating Feelings:
Acknowledge your partner’s anger without becoming defensive. Let them notice that you understand their emotional pain, even when disagreeing.
Soothe the Anger:
Empathy can diffuse the tension and make your partner feel listened to, lowering the likelihood of the situation getting out of hand.
Promotes Open Communication:
Empathy provides a safe space for both partners to communicate their feelings openly, strengthening the overall relationship dynamic.
Sympathetic Assertiveness
Dealing with an angry partner requires assertiveness and empathy. Sympathetic assertiveness means expressing your needs clearly while being mindful of your partner’s feelings. The approach avoids conflict escalation. For example, when your husband loses his temper over little things, gently express how his actions affect you while maintaining empathy for his emotions. Saying something like, “I know you’re upset, but when you yell, I get hurt and feel disconnected,” provides your partner with an understanding of the emotional impact of their actions. Doing so also establishes a boundary by letting them know that certain behaviors will not be accepted. With assertiveness and empathy, couples can create a healthier platform for managing anger.
The Importance of Timing in Addressing Anger
Wait for Calmness:
It’s best to wait until emotions have settled before resolving things, to have a productive conversation.
Don’t Rush Resolution:
Solving the issue now may lead to more misunderstandings. Allow space for both partners to process emotions first.
Prioritize Emotional Regulation:
During anger, practice self-regulation by taking a timeout to relax and reduce intensity.
When the Time is Right:
Once both partners have cooled off, the conversation will likely be more constructive and lead to a resolution.
Transform Your Relationship at Couples Retreat

We understand that anger can affect relationships, so we’ve designed retreats where couples can work through conflicts in a calm and supportive environment. With the help of an expert and licensed Marriage Therapist and relationship-building exercises, couples learn effective communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution skills. Our retreats are focused on developing empathy, compassion, and emotional connection to allow couples to overcome anger and build a harmonious relationship. With tailored programs and a calming ambiance, we enable couples to rebuild trust and strengthen their bond, carrying lasting tools to have a healthy relationship long after the retreat.

Couples leave our retreats more unified and empowered after reconnecting and overcoming obstacles. Whether you want to overcome anger issues or become a better couple, our retreats are the ideal solution for genuine growth and lasting change.
FAQs
1. How do I deal with an angry partner?
Dealing with an angry partner requires patience, calmness, and compassion. The first thing is to be calm and not get angry or defensive, which will worsen things. Instead, try listening attentively to your partner’s problems and acknowledging their emotions by informing them you are on the same page. Tell them that you are hearing them and that you understand their frustrations. Calmly state your own emotions, without assigning blame. Establish boundaries as needed, ensuring your partner knows when their actions are unacceptable. Let them communicate without using aggression, and be willing to help find the source of their anger. By maintaining respect, patience, and empathy, you create a comfortable setting for constructive communication and conflict resolution that can be employed to defuse the situation and achieve a more balanced relationship dynamic.
2. Why am I angry at my partner for no reason?
Unaccountable anger can result from deeper, unresolved emotions or something outside. Most times, our anger towards our partner is not necessarily tied up in what they have done but is brought on by stress, unmet needs, or emotional residual from past relationships. It could also result from frustration with something else, such as work, money, or personal problems. In these cases, your partner can become a scapegoat for emotions that are not about them. Looking at your feelings and discovering what is behind them is essential. Speaking openly with your partner about your feelings can help both of you find out potential triggers and how to handle them positively. If the anger is persistent or recurring, one may become clearer and obtain skills for regulating emotions and improved communication through professional therapy from a therapist.

3. What causes someone to lose their temper over little things?
Anger over trivial matters is more likely to reflect underlying emotional tension or unresolved conflicts in a person. It may be an indication of issues like poor emotional control, excessive stress, or feeling unheard or disregarded in the relationship. Sometimes, little things irritate over a long period, and comparatively minor issues trigger blowouts. Unresolved emotional needs, lack of appreciation, or secret resentment can lead to overblown reactions when a minor incident unleashes a partner’s anger. It is often not the small action that is problematic, but unresolved conflicts and accumulated unmet emotions. Identifying these emotional triggers and promoting open communication can assist in controlling anger and addressing the issues that cause the outbursts so that it becomes easier to resolve conflicts without escalating tensions to a boiling point.
4. How To Tell If Someone Has Anger Issues?
If your partner constantly demonstrates signs of losing emotional composure, it might indicate anger problems. Constant yelling, bickering, or not being able to keep emotions in control during a time of crisis are clear indications. Suppose your partner gets angry over little things, uses verbally abusive language, or exhibits damaging behaviors such as slamming doors or throwing objects. In that case, these might be indicators that he or she is having problems with anger management. Someone with anger problems usually reacts with great emotional intensity even to minor annoyances. It is advisable to handle this case with sensitivity and empathy. If you notice these tendencies, it would be beneficial to suggest obtaining expert help, i.e., therapy or counseling. Early identification of anger issues can prevent further decline and provide an opportunity for healthier emotional control and improved relational dynamics.

5. How can I communicate with an angry partner without escalating the situation?
When talking to an angry partner, the key is to remain calm and composed. Losing your temper or becoming defensive will only escalate the situation. Instead, be a good listener—let your partner rant and make them feel like you understand what they’re experiencing. Use “I” statements to explain how their behavior affects you, not accusatory or blaming statements, which may only infuriate them further. Acknowledge their feelings, even though you may disagree with them. For example, by uttering “I can see you’re upset, and I want to understand what’s going on,” you can de-escalate tension. You should also be non-confrontational and not interrupt. By validating your partner’s emotions and remaining calm, you create an environment where your partner feels heard, resulting in more effective communication and preventing the situation from escalating.
Conclusion
Dealing with a frustrated partner is not a piece of cake, but patience, empathy, and good communication can help you create a healthier, more balanced relationship. Finding out the actual reasons behind your partner’s frustration, active listening, and having open communication are all instrumental in resolving conflicts positively. If anger is still standing between you two in your relationship, professional help, such as relationship therapy or counseling, can help you overcome these issues. By meeting anger issues head-on and confronting emotional growth, couples can reconnect trust, grow a stronger couple, and foster a more tranquil relationship.